INTRODUCTION TO SELF MORTEM

writing here now, i dedicate this blog post to my self interrogation. all my posts relating to self inquiry will henceforth be displayed under this blog. this blog will be post mortem as well as ante mortem of the psychology and philosophy of mine. i would like to cut through the deepest thoughts, desires, reasons for them, drives for them and what i achieve if any, either positive or negative and infer about myself. its highly scientific method of understanding psychology and philosophy, but i am helpless as the world has only taught me the way of science.

this will be a highly personal affair as it will witness encounter me and my self not myself. the self has a different meaning here as to what people usually perceive in common. here it means the driver of your chariot of which the sense organs constitute the horses. well wait wait, i am not going here into much philosophy of the advaita or of the dvita. here i would be using simple language understandable to common brain.

i would also be listing out the headings as a type of questions that will encompass the whole story. the questions which i ask myself will constitute the whole topic. and mind you these are no simple questions. prima facie they look very common and simple to answer, but one deceives only herself by ignoring and passing by these questions. understanding these questions will make people understand their own personality.

in this fast pace world of whatsapp, facebook and other click and deliver type of functionings, perhaps people have forgotten the basic instinct of human mind to search for peace. all this hullabaloo has enmeshed humans into a labyrinthic maze. in this process humans have alienated from the whole organic understandings. love and hate happen like they are some toys that are bought and sold. everything is just so materialistic. infact even humans are now bought and sold -and that is happening from a long time now, for some thousands of years when the human mind got corrupted with greed and money pleasures-. 

i have never cared for such questions till i picked up my citta (a sanskrit word, called hosh in hindi, but couldnt translate it in english, it may be consciousness but that would be too vague and misplaced considering i plan to talk about the consciousness in its pure sense). i have come along the world of books in recent months and i have to admit that they are a world of treasure, only if selection is done wisely and with definite purpose. my search was accidental, and it opened to me a new world. then after a few months books became my best friends and only friends too, for i had virtually been cut off with friend world of mine. of course tv and internet still exist in my world and take up a huge space inside. part of my struggle with the above idiot boxes is my excessive indulgence with them. and i hipe that books help me to fend off my these useless indulgences, and i have somewhat removed them by decreasing the amount of their daily rituals. they are not only useless and take your time but also create excess entropy in your brain that prevents brain to learn for useful stuffs.

i should perhaps reserve the intricacies of questionnaires for the future. this blog was just meant to give introduction. look i again flew away with the wind. nevermind, till it brings something productive i will not complain. some exciting times shall await me. till then adios.

SOME CHANGES AND EXPERIENCES

i have been trying to implement certain changes in my lifestyle, structural and procedural changes as we say in academic style. but due to my laziness i have failed everytime. the power of procrastination has always made my resolve of the present 'for the next moment'. overcoming this, i have always craved for. my inner voice always speaks for its affirmative but the monkey having the keys to my procrastination always interrupts in between and takes charge of situations leaving my work 'for the next moment' and me ever frustrated.

escaping this menace was on my priority list. i tried to search videos and texts relating to it, and poeple's views regarding it. i also listened to the ones who successfully overcame this psychological mountain. most were the regular types nothing very authentic, only made for commercial purposes and for self group or individual projection and for being famous. however i dug out a goldmine in the form of a book that exactly explains my problems and ways to overcame that. it also quotes lot of practical examples and lessons from the lives of great people that have amasses huge fortunes and were once the sufferers of this same disease.

i then decided to read and implement the gospels mentioned there as divine principles. however they were not meant to be implemented all at the same time.  i too decided to apply part by part slowly. for it may have the danger of subconscious brain getting passed away by each and not internalizing any. when you throw everything at the same time the worth of individuality and its effectiveness decreases. and i did not want that. i wanted to extract as much as possible from that book.

the one thing that i would like to mention here that i have started is about the 5 am club, that i have joined recently. from past 4 days i daily wake up at 5 am or around. i know its early days but i have made a start. it is significant in itself. without that book -that stimulated that desire in me- i would never have the inner power to overcome that same laziness and procrastination. i have also decided to run and jog at 5 am. this time is apt for it. the surroundings are cool and calm, there is not much rush, its quiet and perfect for caressing the nature's body. it has some added advantages of giving a purpose to leave the bed. imagine just opening the eyes tying the shoe laces and then leaving for running. but it has to be made as a practice, otherwise it can degenerate. i'll try my best to be regular.

the other change is about the FAITH that i bring in my attitude and inside me. the POWER OF FAITH i shall describe to you in my next account, for this one is just about the introduction to distinct changes. the other regular posts i shall be posting -as best as i can- will be about the inner psychological feelings that have erupted or slept due to these changes in my lifestyle. till then goodbye.

encounter with the dalai lama

well, i was planning to wrote a blog from a long time now, but couldn't write for some or the other reason. but here i am now. what forced me to write this blog was the first encounter with the teachings of the dalai lama. i just randomly searched for him in the youtube, god knows why i did it, and found large number of videos. 

going by the authenticity of bbc and at par channels i watched their interviews with him. the main thing that stood out for me was his way of answering questions. he was very child like and laughed like a child after every answer that he gave. it seems like the impurities of the world has not affected a single bit. for a common man behaving in that way would be embarrassing. he would simply be called a retard that did not learnt the civic values of how to conduct oneself and behave in a society.

it is amazing to see that humans have created a world where there are defined rules and settings, which compel the whole race to be adherent to it. even who has the singlest thought of altering himself would be put right by the constantly screaming society. and then the man thinks that he has civilized himself over the years and is an evolved version of his ancestors. in fact he is more into the spiral trap of rules and regulations, dissolving himself so much that a remotest idea of what he is doing and undergoing has deserted him. what a pity.

of the other videos he talked about the tibet question, of his exile and china's democracy vs communism. i think he was in favour of democracy being the best mode of governance in the world and batted for china accepting it. he loved the concept of freedom and wanted to emulate everywhere in the world. he talked of the middle way for solving the tibet question as a buddhist will expectedly do it going by the buddhist middle path.

englishmen were very keen to have a sneak into his exiled home in dharmasala. after a much ado they finally got the access. they interviewed him there and had surprising insights. could anyone believe that the dalai lama would use treadmill on a regular basis. at least i didn't. wow man. this was part of his daily schedule.

he woke up at 3:30 daily. dis some exercises and then jogged for a bit and then morning rituals with dhyana for about an hour or two. here in this meditation he said he analysed his life and subtle happenings. in this process as being a lama he had to remember all those 253 verses that a lama had to remember (i have only this much of idea about it). he watched television not more than one hour, for daily updates of the world. i say his place looked extremely holy from the inside. very beautiful tibetan pictures and paintings. some mountain views of the himalayas and tibetan temples.

his daily routine included reading books as usual of any great man. in an interview he confessed that as a child he was very shy of books and just wanted to play and play. his favourite books included the ones written during the nalanda university flourishment. those second century writings are his holy books and like textbooks to him. they all have been translated in tibetan from sanskrit and are there in the form of preserved treasure.

in a public lecture he talked about religious harmony, and role of india in it. that open lecture was filled with the foreigners that have come to see him. they looked like the gypsies or the romanians, i couldnt distinguish much of the east europeans. bu they were very excited to listen to buddhist teachings and about the religious harmony. he pointed to the india's religious tolerance since the ancient times and that it still continued apart from minor here and there flashes of tweaks and burst of communalism.

 his concept of respect for the opposing view also emanated from the ancient indian example. the six schools of indian philosophy criticized the concept of charvaka that didn't believed in the theory of god and its existence. he believed in existence itself and being an materialist discarded the concept of god. his theory was severely criticized by all. but all them maintained respect for the person, for he had the brains and thinking and courage to present a divergent viewpoint by the discussion on it, all the other theories got enriched.

the dalai lama was a humble person and repeatedly didn't criticized china in any way. he had no complaints with the US on not pressurizing china. he is always thankful to india for giving him shelter. it is hard to ignore such a personality and his ways of attending. his aura is unique and holiness spills by his side. i wish i could have a chance to meet him and take important lessons of life and inner peace and spirituality. hope that day comes soon.