Uncertainties in my life

                            There has to be certainty in life. Uncertainty is the antithesis of the mind. Mind needs security. Mind equates insecurity with death. Death of the mind will be resisted at all costs by the mind. Hence we see the agitation caused due to perceived insecurity.

 

                        This insecurity expresses itself in the areas of finance, relationships, daily living, etc. Let me consider the aspect which has haunted me the most. The one related to the job market and employability. I don’t know how I got into this conundrum. I definitely know intellectually that I was not in control of my life at any point in life, but the mind hasn’t understood this and is not mature enough currently to understand the gravity of this statement.

 

                        I was caught in the current UPSC exam preparation and lost almost 8 years to this. Again I should not call this lost as nothing is lost or gained here in this world. All is pre-decided. But considering this puny mind that it is, they are lost, for the corporate world, they are certainly lost. 8 years is a huge gap that cannot be justified anywhere in the world. Though now I have a secure job environment currently as the business development manager at Pyramid Valley International Bangalore. But I cannot stay here for long. My wife is pregnant, and will have the child soon after a few months, then she can't stay here, as there are very less facilities here. If she isn’t here then I cannot also reside here permanently. I will have to come and go repeatedly. Can I afford to do this? I don’t know. Then another issue is of the low salary. With the expansion in the family, I will need more funds to satisfy the family needs. I cannot ignore the value richness and happiness that money brings with it.

 

                            Hence there are several reasons as to why I will need to move on next year. But the question is where shall I go. I don’t know currently. Should I opt for a family business back home at Jabalpur? Should I look for data analyst/scientist roles elsewhere? Should I go to Shashi Dhar gowda shoper company for the employment of me and my wife? There are big questions and the answers to which I cannot see currently. Perhaps it is in my best interest to not know them and know only when they appear in front of me.

 

                            The best option is to trust what respected Shri Atmananda, my guru has said, and that is nothing is in my i.e. body-mind control because body and mind are the dead objects of the alive consciousness, hence body-mind cannot know anything. It’s the awareness that knows everything. Then the mind must trust awareness for every answer and not cry for every situation.

 

Some Observations of my Personality

 

I started this new job at Pyramid Valley International on January 23, 2023, with the hope that apart from getting to do regular work on campus, I shall get time to do my personal spiritual work. This would definitely be a go-to ‘new life starter’ project and sticking to it I will change my life completely based on this, in terms of discipline in health, professional work, career, practice, sleep, and eating routines.

 

However to my surprise, as I look back at my stay here in the past 8 months, I have found that I have degraded the most in this time here as I have never done anywhere. I completely lack discipline, I have actually lost my appetite to do breathing exercises that I did so enthusiastically during the COVID times, sometimes even twice a day. Now it's easily a week that I miss without regret.

 

It's incredible for me. I cannot even imagine what I have become. I never thought that I would come to this stage. But here I am, and I must find a solution to it. I have thought over it before also but this hasn’t seeped into my understanding. I don’t know what realization I would require for it to be a permanent crystallization in me, because only after certain crystallization of information that a change in the course of action take place.

I have my habit tracker with me. I sometimes fill those enthusiastically and at other times probably 4-5 days at a stretch don’t touch it as if it was never a part of my life. I am beginning to see the shortcomings of my personality. This body-mind of mine is very fickle, it never sticks to something and completes it. How should I change it? Is it possible to change it?

Scriptures say it is not possible to change it. One can only watch as a witness, and the body and mind play out their predefined role, so should I just do nothing and become free? In one way it’s a relief. In another way, it is frightening because you cannot do anything. Despite seeing the shortcomings of yours you are not doing or rather not being able to do anything because you cannot do anything.

This is crazy. Just be a witness then. I have some more things to comment on my body-mind functionality. I have found some traits of behavior in my relationships with my relatives. I shall speak of them later in maybe another post. For now goodbye.

The past is the permanent dimension of human consciousness and values

The secrets of evolution of life is debatable still in the present century, however, pretty much Darwin's theory of evolution is the most accepted form of evolutionary thesis. The basic essence of Darwin theory is about the evolution of life from one state to the other state in course of time. Thus it is causal in nature which means one state leads to another in the presence of experiences continuously happening from moment to moment. Example is the evolution of humans from ape. Thus the present state can be traced back to the past state and causes can be discovered.

Past thus is the storehouse of human consciousness and memory. Those memory patterns interact with the present incoming impulses through the various senses and thus from thoughts. These thoughts then are the base for every action, belief, habits, and is thus the basis of character or personality. One thus remains ever influenced by such patterns of past which drive the present actions that make up the future. Thus there is a continuity driven by the past.

The past that is this storehouse or memory patterns is infinite in depth. Right from innumerable births these memory patterns have been accumulating and modifying the behavior of creature. Thus one can say in the present form any creature stores not only the memories of the last few instances but also of the whole creation itself, for who knows how many innumerable births one has gone through.

Is there an occasion when this rule is broken? There cannot be such an occasion. The reason is that because the past is the impulse, it is the pusher itself. However when some grave instances happen which disturb the usual functioning of the organism, the future course remain changed for once. Example is given of great mauryan king asoka. After the massive bloodshed in the war of kalinga, asoka changed his whole policy on war, and kingship. He reduced violence to the minimum and also adopted a new faith, Buddhism. However such changes also gets etched in the memory and then drive the future actions.

Changes in the consciousness of the past an be brought , but only through conscious efforts that are serious and ceaseless. Example can be given when one discovers a spiritual life, one requires massive changes in life that are conducive to the spiritual discipline. Thus one has to follow such routines to be ready for advancement. Thus such changes are driven by motivation and desire to progress. Past life is thrown away and a new life of hope is adopted.

Thus one can see that one need not be the prisoner of the dimension of the past. Changes can be brought by some extraordinary perceptions, supernatural influences, inspirations and motivations strike emotionally hard or melt the heart. If one believes strongly that one value needs to be followed to make one better then changes automatically are followed.

INTRODUCTION TO SELF MORTEM

writing here now, i dedicate this blog post to my self interrogation. all my posts relating to self inquiry will henceforth be displayed under this blog. this blog will be post mortem as well as ante mortem of the psychology and philosophy of mine. i would like to cut through the deepest thoughts, desires, reasons for them, drives for them and what i achieve if any, either positive or negative and infer about myself. its highly scientific method of understanding psychology and philosophy, but i am helpless as the world has only taught me the way of science.

this will be a highly personal affair as it will witness encounter me and my self not myself. the self has a different meaning here as to what people usually perceive in common. here it means the driver of your chariot of which the sense organs constitute the horses. well wait wait, i am not going here into much philosophy of the advaita or of the dvita. here i would be using simple language understandable to common brain.

i would also be listing out the headings as a type of questions that will encompass the whole story. the questions which i ask myself will constitute the whole topic. and mind you these are no simple questions. prima facie they look very common and simple to answer, but one deceives only herself by ignoring and passing by these questions. understanding these questions will make people understand their own personality.

in this fast pace world of whatsapp, facebook and other click and deliver type of functionings, perhaps people have forgotten the basic instinct of human mind to search for peace. all this hullabaloo has enmeshed humans into a labyrinthic maze. in this process humans have alienated from the whole organic understandings. love and hate happen like they are some toys that are bought and sold. everything is just so materialistic. infact even humans are now bought and sold -and that is happening from a long time now, for some thousands of years when the human mind got corrupted with greed and money pleasures-. 

i have never cared for such questions till i picked up my citta (a sanskrit word, called hosh in hindi, but couldnt translate it in english, it may be consciousness but that would be too vague and misplaced considering i plan to talk about the consciousness in its pure sense). i have come along the world of books in recent months and i have to admit that they are a world of treasure, only if selection is done wisely and with definite purpose. my search was accidental, and it opened to me a new world. then after a few months books became my best friends and only friends too, for i had virtually been cut off with friend world of mine. of course tv and internet still exist in my world and take up a huge space inside. part of my struggle with the above idiot boxes is my excessive indulgence with them. and i hipe that books help me to fend off my these useless indulgences, and i have somewhat removed them by decreasing the amount of their daily rituals. they are not only useless and take your time but also create excess entropy in your brain that prevents brain to learn for useful stuffs.

i should perhaps reserve the intricacies of questionnaires for the future. this blog was just meant to give introduction. look i again flew away with the wind. nevermind, till it brings something productive i will not complain. some exciting times shall await me. till then adios.

SOME CHANGES AND EXPERIENCES

i have been trying to implement certain changes in my lifestyle, structural and procedural changes as we say in academic style. but due to my laziness i have failed everytime. the power of procrastination has always made my resolve of the present 'for the next moment'. overcoming this, i have always craved for. my inner voice always speaks for its affirmative but the monkey having the keys to my procrastination always interrupts in between and takes charge of situations leaving my work 'for the next moment' and me ever frustrated.

escaping this menace was on my priority list. i tried to search videos and texts relating to it, and poeple's views regarding it. i also listened to the ones who successfully overcame this psychological mountain. most were the regular types nothing very authentic, only made for commercial purposes and for self group or individual projection and for being famous. however i dug out a goldmine in the form of a book that exactly explains my problems and ways to overcame that. it also quotes lot of practical examples and lessons from the lives of great people that have amasses huge fortunes and were once the sufferers of this same disease.

i then decided to read and implement the gospels mentioned there as divine principles. however they were not meant to be implemented all at the same time.  i too decided to apply part by part slowly. for it may have the danger of subconscious brain getting passed away by each and not internalizing any. when you throw everything at the same time the worth of individuality and its effectiveness decreases. and i did not want that. i wanted to extract as much as possible from that book.

the one thing that i would like to mention here that i have started is about the 5 am club, that i have joined recently. from past 4 days i daily wake up at 5 am or around. i know its early days but i have made a start. it is significant in itself. without that book -that stimulated that desire in me- i would never have the inner power to overcome that same laziness and procrastination. i have also decided to run and jog at 5 am. this time is apt for it. the surroundings are cool and calm, there is not much rush, its quiet and perfect for caressing the nature's body. it has some added advantages of giving a purpose to leave the bed. imagine just opening the eyes tying the shoe laces and then leaving for running. but it has to be made as a practice, otherwise it can degenerate. i'll try my best to be regular.

the other change is about the FAITH that i bring in my attitude and inside me. the POWER OF FAITH i shall describe to you in my next account, for this one is just about the introduction to distinct changes. the other regular posts i shall be posting -as best as i can- will be about the inner psychological feelings that have erupted or slept due to these changes in my lifestyle. till then goodbye.

encounter with the dalai lama

well, i was planning to wrote a blog from a long time now, but couldn't write for some or the other reason. but here i am now. what forced me to write this blog was the first encounter with the teachings of the dalai lama. i just randomly searched for him in the youtube, god knows why i did it, and found large number of videos. 

going by the authenticity of bbc and at par channels i watched their interviews with him. the main thing that stood out for me was his way of answering questions. he was very child like and laughed like a child after every answer that he gave. it seems like the impurities of the world has not affected a single bit. for a common man behaving in that way would be embarrassing. he would simply be called a retard that did not learnt the civic values of how to conduct oneself and behave in a society.

it is amazing to see that humans have created a world where there are defined rules and settings, which compel the whole race to be adherent to it. even who has the singlest thought of altering himself would be put right by the constantly screaming society. and then the man thinks that he has civilized himself over the years and is an evolved version of his ancestors. in fact he is more into the spiral trap of rules and regulations, dissolving himself so much that a remotest idea of what he is doing and undergoing has deserted him. what a pity.

of the other videos he talked about the tibet question, of his exile and china's democracy vs communism. i think he was in favour of democracy being the best mode of governance in the world and batted for china accepting it. he loved the concept of freedom and wanted to emulate everywhere in the world. he talked of the middle way for solving the tibet question as a buddhist will expectedly do it going by the buddhist middle path.

englishmen were very keen to have a sneak into his exiled home in dharmasala. after a much ado they finally got the access. they interviewed him there and had surprising insights. could anyone believe that the dalai lama would use treadmill on a regular basis. at least i didn't. wow man. this was part of his daily schedule.

he woke up at 3:30 daily. dis some exercises and then jogged for a bit and then morning rituals with dhyana for about an hour or two. here in this meditation he said he analysed his life and subtle happenings. in this process as being a lama he had to remember all those 253 verses that a lama had to remember (i have only this much of idea about it). he watched television not more than one hour, for daily updates of the world. i say his place looked extremely holy from the inside. very beautiful tibetan pictures and paintings. some mountain views of the himalayas and tibetan temples.

his daily routine included reading books as usual of any great man. in an interview he confessed that as a child he was very shy of books and just wanted to play and play. his favourite books included the ones written during the nalanda university flourishment. those second century writings are his holy books and like textbooks to him. they all have been translated in tibetan from sanskrit and are there in the form of preserved treasure.

in a public lecture he talked about religious harmony, and role of india in it. that open lecture was filled with the foreigners that have come to see him. they looked like the gypsies or the romanians, i couldnt distinguish much of the east europeans. bu they were very excited to listen to buddhist teachings and about the religious harmony. he pointed to the india's religious tolerance since the ancient times and that it still continued apart from minor here and there flashes of tweaks and burst of communalism.

 his concept of respect for the opposing view also emanated from the ancient indian example. the six schools of indian philosophy criticized the concept of charvaka that didn't believed in the theory of god and its existence. he believed in existence itself and being an materialist discarded the concept of god. his theory was severely criticized by all. but all them maintained respect for the person, for he had the brains and thinking and courage to present a divergent viewpoint by the discussion on it, all the other theories got enriched.

the dalai lama was a humble person and repeatedly didn't criticized china in any way. he had no complaints with the US on not pressurizing china. he is always thankful to india for giving him shelter. it is hard to ignore such a personality and his ways of attending. his aura is unique and holiness spills by his side. i wish i could have a chance to meet him and take important lessons of life and inner peace and spirituality. hope that day comes soon.

THE NUCLEAR DEBACLE

THE NUCLEAR DEBACLE

amidst the hype created by the ostensible nuclear deal done between the US and india, the intricacies have been avoided. Foreign secretary categorically stated that ‘the deal is done’. Media has hyped the conclusions even before the joint press conference made public. What is one to infer and conclude about the so called historic deal. Is it done? Is it worthwhile to undertake deals like these where the developed world is finding ways to part from it? The questions are legitimate and important concerning the dangers that the issue possesses and is effects on india.

Section 17b and 46 are well known that I am not going to go about here. I am going to about some interesting pieces that I heard in a debate today. First, is the US really very keen to ouch through the deal as is known. The answer is tilted towards no. the reason is that originally the deal that was concluded was by the republicans, the democrats on the other hand are very law going persons. They cannot at any point break the laws that they themselves has set. Democrats also are not famous india-loving people. The lawyers of the US that handle the nuclear cases are in no sense ordinary lawyers. They charge astronomical amounts even for an hour. They will only relent till they extract the last pound from the coffers. So the US will be weary about this.

Second is about the US’ own domestic policies. Their own nuclear industry is going down at the moment. Mostly aare private players like hitachi, Westinghouse etc. the US has not installed a single power reactor sicne thirty years and is another example of a developed nation that is shying away from the nuclear energy business. Why so? I’m sure all know the reasons. In fact it plans to reduce the already set and functioning reactors and instead opt for renewable sources which are clean, relatively risk-free and future promising. India’s need for nuclear energy is paramount and reasons we know.

Concerning the liability law and those 2 sections. Well, they were passed by the consent of both then ruling party and the opposition party, in the wake of india’s horrific memories of Bhopal gas tragedy. Without diluting those laws any foreign collaboration is not possible. Even the Indian manufacturers Larsen and toubro etc. have categorically denied to supply any reactors until those sections are fixed. India has superior technology itself. The advanced pressurized heavy water reactor technology in india is well developed and india does not requires any foreign collaboration if the scale meets up the demand. If india wants to start in this area it should first negotiate the deal with domestic suppliers. One open suggestion can be to utilize this technology by selling and gaining enormous money. I am sure this may have come up in the past as well, but do not understand the reason as to why we have hesitated to leverage ourselves where piles and piles of cash are awaiting us. Probably we are trying to project ourselves as the responsible nation that does not indulges itself in proliferation exercises. If this is the case then it should know the Chinese case that even after signing NPT it has proliferated technologies to irresponsible state actors. The US does not object to ti there. Practicability and self interest are guide to the conduct and not idealism, that india knows very well, but still there is some or the other reasins for sitting back at the haunches and watching the players play the match in the global arena.

India has planned an insurance pool of somewhere about 1500 crores that covers the liability of the operators. I think this money is not at all sufficient. Moreover if one really wants ti insure through the taxpayers money, it can do so to the domestic suppliers. Why insure a foreign company when it has no humanitarian interests and is hell bent to extract money out of everything, not caring about the human lives that may be at risk.

France and Russia also have been reluctant to supply. But there was some vulnerability in their firmness indicating their willingness to go through despite the 2 sections. This again points to another question- why is india pushing through it so much hard. Can it not negotiate more with them. The kudankulams are working despite the liability law. I am sure the current depreciation of the economy of Russia and weaknesses of france can be utilized for the current moment to break the ice.

Given all this, my personal judgement says that the current break through deal, that is being spoken off  is a symbolic gesture to indicate the closeness of the countries and also commitment on the part of the governments that they have delivered something substantive. The defence deals are through anyhow. I think defence was the major concern for the two countries. US wants to sell and gather huge monies and contracts and india wants to boost up its manufacturing as a part of  ‘make in india’ campaign. Whatever be the final internal breakthroughs, one thing is clear that the two nations have come close and indicated the convergence of the two largest democracies’ mutual interests in various fields. Symbolism is there, sign of any substance will be soon be deciphered.

in the name of honour

Honour in some parts of india is defined by defying the means of social and traditional destabilization, and protecting the age old traditional values,  regardless of the means used, regardless of the ends perceived and achieved. Here I am talking about the crime associated with the name ‘honour killing’. Rampant in northern india and also in parts of Pakistan, it has brought the ideas of liberal democracy and modernism at crossroads. The constitution now finds itself helpless in implementing these to over these regions.

Recently a girl from yadav community was brutally killed for eloping with a punjabi boy. After killing, the body was swiftly cremated and all the rituals were followed. the excuses given laughably bizarre. The incident here poses many questions and brings to the fore many issues.

Why are we tolerating these till now? Well no, the supreme court has already in its judgement has pronounced that each individual has the right to choice. Choice here refers to the selecting the life partner according to own wishes. It has severely condemned the practices as derogatory and antithetical to Indian ethos.

What about the khaps? These structures are as permanent as any of the institution you will find in india. Tradition has imbibed the values in the minds and hearts as a rock. Many practices are dismissive, perverse but still are followed. still one just cannot wish away the institution of khap. At the smallest level these are the work mobilizers of the northern india. Any external force contriving to induce change shall be faced with resistance. Even if coercely imposed, these rebel activities will go-on secretively, with beatings and killings and atrocities. Khaps are linked with the lives of people. People have not seen the community functioning without the khaps. So change has to cautious.

What are the choices in front of a girl? The choice statement given by the supreme court, has been followed not in the right spirit, in fact there is no proof that it is even followed. the girl child is often under tremendous pressure to go with customary or filial choices. Perceiving that her decision is inextricably linked to her family’s honour she most often drinks that bitter sip or that rather gulps with eyes closed and fearful and all senses tightened.

The other question arises here is about the liking of girl child with family’s honour. Parents often boast of their daughter married off to a rich business house. The same parents feel ashamed when they couldn’t find a suitable groom(or I should say a family) for her or if she is married in a poor house. Its our society’s menace which still I couldn’t understand till now, probably because I have never delved into it before or may be because I have been away from such influences or may be because I am not of a rural origin where I can experience such cases and extract some reason and causes behind it.

Seriously it’s a hats off to being a female in this country, and that to poor. Talks of india shining and winds changing are a still nonsense in the remote hinterlands of india. Here, starting from her inception in the womb, till she falls on her grave, the number of atrocities that she amazingly accepts and sometimes revolts, resists is phenomenal. I sometimes doubt my courage and question myself as to me having that kind of courage.

The repeated stories like these heartily disturbs me a lot. the very meaning of being Indian is a mix up of various communities. Its been the Indian story dating back 5000 years. Why then people are hell bent to disturb the very indianness of Indian people. Inter-caste were promoted by BR Ambedkar and Mahatma Gandhi. If these intellectuals are promoting them then our rationale should reflect upon ourselves to propagate their ideas deep in the soils of india.

Having pledged ourselves to maintain the unity and diversity of this holy land its our responsibility, we who are capable and possessed with necessities to educate and correct the malpractices that are rampant in the different parts of india. But mind you, this will be a labyrinth task, will demand enormous time resource and will power.

Any Change that has to come, has to come from within, the people alone themselves have the responsibilities to change, we can only act as facilitators and educators. For it education is must. Inculcation of modern and rational values is imperative. The unlearning has to be incremental, and not radical, otherwise the whole effort goes draining. The government can incentivize schemes that encourage inter caste marriages in the form of subsidies and rebated education of their child and scholarships.

So lets be a little respectful of our nation, lets show some sympathy towards the ‘other’ gender, lets follow ethics enshrined in the constitution and liberal ideas propagated by the nation’s greats. Lets build a strong india. Lets build india for what its known for, for what it has carried itself through ages and epochs.

LITTLE SUCCESS LITTLE FAILURE—a comparative viewpoint

I usually fall to sleep in the afternoon unhelpfully. The will of my resistance is overwhelmed by the sleepy forces dynamic in me. The energy is spent on breaking and digesting the rice inside my stomach. Probably due to this my own epistemological creation I have asked to reduce the rice content in my tiffin box.

Afternoons are a part of dull timelines. Nothing much happens except there is some unusual silence. The voice of chaiwallahs, talewallahs cranks and breaks this silence often. These voices are quite unheard if one is busy in work.

But one day I was contemplating on the idea of success akin to ‘the idea of justice’, I found some exhilarating similarities in me and my talewalla chaiwalla friend. I thought about what could be the definition of success for him and what about me who was preparing for an all difficult IAS exam. Here is the comparision.

Though completely unaware of a daily life of a talewallah seller, I projected my own ideal construct of his dayline. Such is his hard task of screaming day and night, regularly twenty four seven, in want of someone would ever come out of balcony and ask him favour. Usually this doesn’t happen. But occasionally when that happens, he terms that a success. So yes, selling talas (locks) is success for him. He might have some number fixed to sell daily that if achieved, could fill his heart with satisfaction.

Similar is my case. I have to study that same subject time and again, same routine everyday in hope of remembering and producing when it is most important. Also hoping that I will not be the mahabharata’s karna who couldn’t produce what he learnt in his career. My success is the selection in the exam.

But there is some catch. There is vast difference between his and mine ‘duty’. Firstly, it starts with the big ‘fruit’ of his duty. That fruit’s probability falling in his side is highly improbable. Mostly because here the variables are quite high. His screaming strength and tala selling are not proportional in any way. It depends on the street in which he is selling. The people who reside there and the people’s wants. The ferocious competitors are always hawking for any space or move left unpathed.

On my side same many variables are there be it amount of people, there desire and competition (as usual for india). But their weightage in this case is far lower as compared to the former. I can say much remains in my hands, or I have much more maneuverabiblity to pluck the fruit of my karma from a tree. Still I remain generous and humble enough to say in lord krishna’s own words ‘don’t worry for the fruit, for it is not in your hands’.

I always used to fret about the repeatedness of my path, actually sometimes it still happens probably due to brain strokes and its refusals. The same old regular stuff. I used to crave for some independence and something afresh that could beface me through anyways accidentally or deliberately. But that very day, I tried to lens this through his viewpoint. That was the moment I realized my nothingness in his juxtapose. At least I have the privilege of having very new things at my behest. The dynamics of world and nation keep one afresh and change-sticking. But his job still remains the same, nothing new not a bit. Still he has the same tenacity and spiritedness to accompalish his task.

A big Salute to his endurance. In fact he can be source of learning to many. Having patience and persistence is a great quality that a youth of today lacks in an elemental form. A dogged behavior is necessary when one aspires big. So one’s success mantra is hidden in those chaiwallahs and talewallahs selling daily and screaming in the afternoon. I hope and I will try meeting those sources of my inspiration soon, on the other day when I don’t lay unconscious in bed.

 Waiting for that day.

Cheers !!!

imam bukhari and bjp's congress mukt bharat -- a sensational view

Though there is never a day when politics go silent, but some days marks excellence of political sensation. Today is one such day. Two news have hit hard on the newspapers. Let me share my views one by one.

First, the head of the jama masjid of delhi, imam bukhari has invited many political leaders domestic and foreign, for the coronation of his son as the vice imam. Among it the highlight was of P.M. of Pakistan Mr. nawaz sharif. This decision must be welcome,as any cooperation between the estranged neighbours, will establish goodwill.

One name that was conspicuous by its absence was the prime minister of india, Mr. Modi. His reason being that modi represents only one side of the population, and never really cared for the muslims. The horrors of godhra still marr his character. He never really reached to muslims.

Increasingly the gesture, will be contrasted between india and Pakistan heads.

It is right that the host has the right to invite the one he likes, but the situation must also be considered while making certain decisions. The fanatic hindu wing which was silent till now, owing to mr. modi agenda only on growth not on communal politics, has got reasons to fan tensions now. The rss backed bjp has concentrated its efforts only towards the development goal, infact the rss heads were found  skipping the arguments regarding communalization on various programmes. The toning down had good faith among the muslims, some believed that this might alleviate religion from politics, finally.

But some instances here or there are to happen, considering india is a vast country by every means that rekindlt the issues of horror past. The fanatic mob and people have once again got the chance to spread empty rhetorics and piss venom from their foul mouths. The fabric of the country is once again vulnerable. much will depend on the media how it handles the issue. The ethicality of the media is long eroded, this is the opportunity to be responsible 4^th pillar of our democracy. Sensationalizing is loved by everyone and ethics discarded, this myth needs to be bursted. Proper orientation and news spreading combined with environment conditioning is required for it. Media persons asking unnecessary questions evoke counter responses from the interviewees, that is fodder material and is repwated days and nights and quoted as historical evidences for establishing truth. This practice needs to be abandoned. let us see how Mr. modi handles the present situations and how he instructs his party members from refraining in indulging in petty matters.

Today is india’s unity day, marked by the birth anniversary of sardar patel. Its good if national heoes that have truly contributed to the nation’s cause are being remembered and respected, but praising one and casting a dark shadow over another equally important is no good mean. Yes I am talking about bjp’s orientation towards Nehru and his relation with patel. Bjp has long blamed most of the problems to nehru’s head. Be it economics or being military. True that he faulted on his relation with Pakistan and china, but demising him to the extent of painting him anti nationalistis by no means just. Nehru has been a father figure for india and will remain. He is the architect of modern india in a true sense.

Bjp has always objected towards the qualities of leadership in Nehru. Debate abound that who among the two was better to host the pm post. Sidelining the other more important contributions of Nehru is act of ignorance. And living in ignorance is a curse. The relationship between Nehru and patel was very respectable and cordial, not like it is painted today.

Whenever I have got the opportunity of discussing the topic of Nehru with the youngsters of today, only negative reviews I have got. The description is full of abuses, and his incapability of handling wars. He is blamed for the Kashmir issue and loss of territory to Pakistan. The youth is living in such darkness, and nobody cares. They don’t realize the efforts of Nehru in uniting india after patel expired. They don’t realize the social reforms that he initiated. They don’t realize the foreign policy that he espoused, o whose children we are. The fruits which we are eating are his creation.

Some days back there were series of articles by the defenders and attackers on Nehru. Each tried every means to humble each other through intelligent and venomous word crafting. I pained at the very outset of the topic, for I understood the crux of it at the beginning. I started reading the editorials and did not had the courage to read it full, such was the content. They talk about burning books related to Nehru, the other abuses in return. My question is what are books for, are they for the petty war between mean and glean individuals that are playing with the future of the children through their petty political war.

I intended to write few lines on the issue but went to the limit of my vent. Such extremism is not my home. Youth needs to be enlightened first, for they are the flag bearers of tomorrow. Positivity needs to be spread. The government recently decided to commemorate birth anniversary of indira Gandhi and pandit Nehru. I don’t know what is the real motive behind it. Speculators have become active, conveying that its bjp’s plan to build a congress mukt bharat. They are trying to own all the national heroes. Not including any member of the Gandhi family in the organization team proves that.

Well i must end here, for the story is endless. Sensation will live in this country, till it gets fire and fuel. So enjoy the sensation. Om sensationaay namah.

undefiniteness

I have been struggling emotionally for quite sometime now. My inner energy to keep me balanced has been shaky, minor things now bother me. Keep me off my track. Only if I could rebalance in near future in quick time, I would set apeace with my life.

My usual days and nights are spent watching one thing or the other in the much hated but much required laptop. Seeing one thing creates an unquenchable thirst for the other, hence creating the vicious cycle, that I never wanted to be in, but somehow I find myself there.

Much as I idolize Rafael nadal, for his desire to win and never say die attitude, I have been able to absorb him to nullity. All day I crave for such a moment when that peak desire shall strike me but it has kept me waiting and had led me to write and think about myself.

Writing is supposedly my freetime practice now. Unable to do other things when my mind seems unstable, creating a bolg perhaps is an escape. everytime I complete a single line writing I look at the no. of words I wrote, perhaps because I have cultivated this habit of answer writing for the ias (mostly I write answer in ms word)..

Thinking and writing keeps my mind busy and doesn’t gives space for daydreaming and about the negative thoughts that  have besieged me for a length of time now. I have meantime read a lot about the different types of yoga, Indian philosophy and the holy bhagawad geeta. Emphaised mainly among the three as well as common among them is the theory of karma yoga, it is said to be the easiest pathway to achieve salvation or nirvana among all the yogas.

Yet I have been unable to crystallize and filter it into my body. Perhaps the material desires are not in any mood to leave me alone. Craving for is the only thing I can do. However one thing enlightens me that Buddha was said to be the last person to successfully practice the karma yoga and hence rightly being called as the enlightened soul.

My mind strikes different strikes this chord now very often that what is this liberation or the nirvana and what would the world be or rather look like through an enlightened person. These are high philosophical questions which are in my to do list before I leave this planet.

But why am I drifting here, I came here to write about the unholy state of my mind. Perhaps I don’t want to talk about it or perhaps I always seek an escape out of everything, I still do not know.

Nevertheless I have decided that from tomorrow I will start taking care of my physical body. It seems like it has been years when I paid attention to my physique. In the absence of regular exercise it has grown weak, fragile lazy and has emaciated a lot. A die hard physical person has been changed to exercise averse person in this mind training and knowledge gaining period. Perhaps only I and me could be blamed for this and nobody else.

Quite a time back also I had planned to start afresh on the exercise hitting thing but it had also like all other posotve and good things have bitten dust. I have also decide to start following time table now. Starting with a lenient one, but strictly increasing to regular one is my aim now. I only hope that this will keep me disciplined and workaholic and not keep my mind idle for all the fuzzy and useless thoughts that always drag me back and keep me aloof from my much desired goal.

I have also decided to go through the meditation process, in a way to notice me know myself better.starting with breathing exercises and then lighted candle exercise after a little practice.

Its very late now and this I suppose is long time after when I am awake to this hour. But anyway as long as the work remains productive I have no objection. Its been again pastime activity when my mind kept busy and I left nothing for the brain to be filled with dirt. So it was good. I suppose now everytime when I feel this way, we will meet. But till then I have a good bye for you.

bjp boast of gdp increase = myth and reality

So the political tug of war for show off of the higher gdp numbers has begun. People posed their faith in this new government to deliver the promises. But seems like after the 100 days government has not stopped boasting big numbers and lines.

This time around the government has found an alternative to mystify the public by overhauling the methodology itself. Looks like the dismal industry numbers have forced to do something out of the box.

but let me demystify you. the boasting that by increasing the inclusive basket and increasing the production function itself will bolster the gdp numbers by 2-3% is a bit kite flying in the air.

The changing of the production basket and changing the base year is routine exercise carried usually in the gap of 5 years. Long time has passed when the production basket was increased. Probably in 1999-2000.

Also to point out that with no increase in real production output numbers, even if you manage to increase gsp numbers by changing the base year and production basket, this increase will only be once. After that falling to original growth rate number will be the reality and policy makers will get confused and even confused will be the public and opposition who claimed initially for the increased numbers will be harsh on the new government on the decreased numbers and will make them responsible.

So to make free boasting and rhetorics about increasing numbers will only put the country in fogs. One more thing about this government is the habit of doling out incomplete information about the policy matters. Nothing has been said about the details of the programme.

The important thing to be taken out from this episode are few questions. The first is the exactitude of the numbers which are gathered. First look at the precision of the numbers that the capacity offers let alone trying to cover the full baskets which is near impossible. Is the infrastructure adequate currently or more is required. an interesting comparision between india and china shows that india has about one third of that of Chinese data collectors. The width and diversity of the datas remaining same the stark contrast in the numbers shows the lack which should be corrected first. The real problem lies with the informal sector, its true. and specially among it the small scale manufacturing and the micro manufacturing enterprises. There are about 4.1 crore of small scale manufacturing enterprises. Out of it only 3 lakh are registered. Implies less than 1% of the entities are known to us fully, other are only haywire.

Another problem is which data to rely upon for the policy formulation. Every other data collected by different entity and organization are different and some even differ vastly. The states are accused of inflating gdp numbers to show off their work beyond capacity and potential. These discrepancies are to be corrected first rather than make people believe on weak foundations.

The problems are basic yet again. Only correctness is required which is not an easy task per se. we are a poor developing country, and we have a much robust data enumerators with us. We are better than most of the developing counterparts, also considering the sheer amount of data we collect. But only praising outr efforts for the natural blessing or this curse is not the solution. We have huge hopes for our nation, with the government and with ourselves as well. Let us not belie ourselves. 

my frustration with the ias

Preparation of Civil services is not an easy task. It requires perseverance, adamancy and many more qualities, if listed will make this article abound with superlatives. Before starting the preparation one only hears the topper’s stories, about their shear work ethic, gets inspired and readies oneself for it thinking this hard labor can be dispensed with in the higher pursuit.

But one when takes on the mighty challenge, the maze starts unfolding and new hardships start dawning upon. Finding oneself being besieged is one hell of a feeling, a bitter tea that no one wants to lay a tongue upon. Mind begins to frustrate every now and then and wants to leave the arena where it has so laboriously mingled. It searches for some kind of hope, some kind of light amidst darkness, that will prevail all those thoughts and bolster the positiveness. The body loses all its shape, if it was in shape before (no offence to anyone). Lack of proper nutritious food and exercise makes one lazy and weary on the one hand and snatches bodily charm on the other.

As the time passes one becomes indifferent to these thoughts and regularizes with his usual work like a soulless machine, where the only thing matters is filling huge data and information inside the limited brainspace. Keeping oneself restricted to one space for long times contradicts man’s natural philosophy. Hence frustration is inevitable. Kickboxing is the only sport that might soothe the boiling inside. This much so and so happening just inside the little brain, yet it remains still, erect, how? One wonders.

One lives in a fabric that is not averse to various stresses and strains. Some leave their jobs and jump into this whirl, so it’s a matter of prestige. Societal pressures are very high, so there it’s a matter of status. Sometimes it’s the parents who push their children here directly or indirectly, for, they want their children to realize their unfulfilled dreams, so it’s a matter of (couldn’t find a suitable word). So these pressures are bound to create distortions, after a certain yielding point.

The level of this yielding point is what decides triumph and sorrow. And mind you this yielding point is not fixed for an individual too. It can rise or decline, vulnerable to exogenous forces and shocks. These exogenous forces have considerable impact on the inner forces too, so it’s a complicated mixture beyond the matters of mind.

Question that really matters is how to remain adamant and persevere against these forces. Everyone requires some external push, some motivation that holds the person erect and rejuvenates the all silent physical body by supplying the necessary juice. Motivational supply itself is categorized as intrinsic and extrinsic. While extrinsic supply is short term intrinsic supply lasts long.

A civils aspirant ought to have both these supplies and especially the inner one to remain in the battle and be in constant motion like revolving earth, constant, calm, yet fiery. It ought to have that flame burning inside that remains in constant ignition, for this natural element is what will propel one to the highest heights.

So be strong, be motivated, be adamant, persevere against all odds and chase your wild dreams fearlessly.

infra dream

any genuine development happening in india fills my heart with joy. the only thing i crave for in the morning when i pick 'the hindu', is atleast some good news on the infrastructure development front. A daily dose of business standard for past 6-7 months have filled in me, a never ending hope for india as an infrastructurally developed nation. many promises are made daily on various sectors, which kind of soothes my desire little bit, but a lack in the application part dissolves that stint.

the political class is beset with many impediments, which are more created by itself. Populism is one such monster. The evil powers of it can even dilute the most noble of forces. A 100 days bjp promise has delivered it well. I should say well here, because it is genuinely difficult to govern a country as diverse as india at such a horrible time. Passage of few bills is the highlight as well as the proper functioning of the parliament. Naysayers and nihilists and also the communists are quick to criticize the government at all fronts. As if they were just waiting for their 100 days to get over to make a dish out the government. Leaving that part, its not the topic of discussion here. I for one has supported this government because it has promised me a wholesome development infrastructurally. The honourable prime minister is on way to various nations of the world not just to say hi, but to garner requisite, urgent funds. Successful Japanese trip proves the saying. He has successfully solicited japan to invest $35 billions in next 5 years. Australian p.m. is here Chinese president is to arrive soon, and the most awaited and anticipated Mr. Modi’s U.S.’ tour is on the line this month end.

Given the plummeting of the growth rates and high unemployment, the political rhetorics have been full of promises of making india as a manufacturing hub of labour intensive industries. With Chinese factor costs increasing the world looks for the alternatives. Catching this train is the only way to hop back on the 7-8% growth rates in the near future. the demographic dividend that india boasts will be left futile and become stale if not properly put into its place, by skilling etc. prime minister has rightly dedicated entrepreneurship ministry for the enhancement and instillment of entrepreneurship skills in the ever growing young working class.

The planning of the start of electronic hardware industry in india is one the most important wake-up call decisions. The high current account deficit owes much to electronic hardware imports from various nations especially east asian nations. The demand of smartphones, televisions and other commodities are on the rise but one finds no special hardware development houses in india, its shamefull. India is a software giant. It has high quality stuff, brainpower, where it lacks is the low quality implementation of such high quality designing. For this appropriate skilling is required. the national skill development council is activated now as never before and the HRD minister is on her haunches to prove the worth of her degree.

The smart city development programme which designated dedicated starting fund worth 72000 crores for 100 cities is like a mockery to me. Does the prime minister really want to develop those or just make parks for the namesake where people try to become smart. I mean if you ciiunt the fund for each city it comes out to be a meager 72 crores for each city. Nothing gets build in such amount in today’s time. Today you need the apetite as well as vault full of money as heavy as china.

One good initiative was of indigenization of Indian defense industry. Much to say but not here, probably some other article might expound indigenization.

The sagarmala initiative is also a moon among the stars. Although Indian navy is already a supreme force plans are to extend this stature to a blue water navy status. Already Indian navy is highly sophisticated and mostly indigenized, it still requires a lot of research and development in heavy machinery and ships to be at par with the likes of the U.S. and Russia.

The list is never ending but unfortunately my time is. Have to prepare a lot of things in very less time so have to leave in between. Hope that I will complete this soon when I return. Till then bbye.

As the name suggests worshipping idle time has been one of my favourite acts from the past. however utilizing this has been learnt only a few months back.
this is not to say that i love to have idle time or that i prefer it, but rather it just felt good if you are idle. much of the feelings have profoundly increased as i stepped on the delhi's streets. remaining lonely without any work with no friends or family can be a curse, but ias enthusiast cant afford to take this curse.
plethora of books have kept me busy from a long time. the number accrued has also increased, looks like till the quota is finished it would be years passed by. the list i have made is very extensive and it keeps updating.
just a few days are left for the start of a long term examination and it marks the end of a year long preparation term.
the past one year has been a great change in my life. having cognizant with various issues and accustomed with latest happenings have been no more than a grand awakening for me. i have always wondered how knowledgeless person i was before. nevertheless having traversed this path has been good for me till now...
having good times coupled with times where frustration brims your brain with very negative thoughts...
but this is its all about, controlling your senses having perseverance, patience and having that fire to relentlessly pursue your own work albeit slowly slowly but continuous.
being single-idle leaves you with many options. one of that what i opted was non fictional reading. in the past i was very averse to books. having open the books bought me sleep, so never i have the courage to finish those 500 odd paged books (this category of book includes interesting fictions too). i have tried before and failed repeatedly. this have changed now. my mind is more acceptable to books now, though it shows sparks of the past.
time is not much now between the preparation phase and the final showdown, hardly 2 months. huge things are to be covered still. revision, the most important aspect of any exam is still left for starting. maneuvering revision holds the key here.
today's writeup ends here. idle works are going to be scanty now, that space is now filled with nervousness and revision work. hope to meet you soon.
bbye